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The RV adventures of Sparky and (the late) Jett |
Marlene and I had our third New Year’s Eve and, for the third time, went out dancing. This time, like last year, we went to the Eagles Club. The band was better this year – The Unforgiven – but not many people were dancing. Not a problem for us. We don’t mind showing off on the dance floor.
This party also served as a going-away celebration for friends John and Debbie who have hosted us for many nights of Hand, Knee and Foot this year. They are moving to Texas. They will be missed.
Copyright 2024 by David Benjamin. Published by Last Kid Books, Madison WI.
David Benjamin, one of my oldest and best friends is a very imaginative writer with a keen sense of the absurd. He is a master of the short essay. He calls them “screeds” which isn’t fair to him as the term implies an unpleasant or boring story. His screeds – he has written thousands – are never boring or unpleasant. His earlier collection of screeds, Almost Killed by a Train of Thought, is, I think, one of his best books. This one, Christmas in a Jugular Vein, is similar in that it is mostly a collection of screeds, but he has thrown in some poetry, too, and a few longer stories. All with a Christmas theme. All of which are guaranteed to amuse you and, usually, think. For example, how would the Nativity Story be different if the three wise men had to pass through a TSA checkpoint on the way to Bethlehem? What if Mary and Joseph had a promoter? If the inn was full where were the wise men staying that night? What if Santa had been there?
One of my favorite essays is the final one – “Nobody says.” This is a reworking of A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens in which the Christmas ghosts are replaced by Christmas zombies. The Cratchits move into a vacant mansion and are shunned by the neighbors for a reason that nobody says (hence the title). Turns out the mansion was once owned by Ebeneezer Scrooge and was sold to the Cratchits by a shady realtor named Jacob Marley. As the Cratchits learned at midnight on Christmas, zombies, including undead Santas, magi, shepherds and elves and led by the first zombie, Ebeneezer Scrooge III, swarm the mansion in search of… no, not human flesh… cookies and milk.
Now THAT is imaginative.
I found these essays to be charming, amusing and thought-provoking. A fun read.
8 out of 10.
As I have been on this planet for over 75 years, it is not often that I get to experience something I have never experienced before. But I had a “first” last Saturday: my first Quinceañera – a coming-out party for a Hispanic girl turning 15. In this case it was the granddaughter of a woman that Marlene had worked with for many years. Marlene offered to do some alterations for her dress for the party and they graciously invited us to attend. We graciously accepted.
The venue was the Civic Center in Labelle FL. It was a large hall set with about 50 tables, each seating 8. That’s a 400-person capacity. The tables were arranged on either side of the center, which was left clear for the entry procession (rather like the bride walking down the aisle) and dancing. Each table had an elaborate floral centerpiece that I estimate cost between $50 and $100 each – a total of $2,500 to $5,000 for the centerpieces alone.
The party was scheduled to start at 3pm. We arrived at 4 and were some of the first ones to arrive. The program didn’t really get started until 7pm with the serving of the meal – a large plate filled with two kinds of BBQ beef, rice and vegetables. Also tortillas so that we could roll the beef, rice and veggies into soft tacos. Delicious!
The music was provided by a 16-piece Mexican band – 6 brass, 4 percussion, 2 guitars, 2 wind instruments and 2 vocalists. HUGE band and very loud, thanks to more sound equipment than I have ever seen. Lights, too. Spotlights everywhere and laser projections onto the ceiling.
The main event was the presentation of gifts. Each close relative or friends gave her something both valuable and symbolic – roses, earrings, ring, Bible, necklace, etc. Then, at the end, a “surprise gift” from her parents: an Apple watch and a pocketbook that they knew she would love.
We left around 9pm as the music was a bit much for Marlene. But I think the party was just getting started. I have no idea how long it lasted.
I don’t know if I mentioned this, but Marlene has hoarding tendencies. She has WAY more stuff than she needs. Yes, I am a minimalist – that is one of the reasons that I have been perfectly happy living in a 400 square foot RV for 12 years – but she is the exact opposite. A maximalist? She has a 1,700 square foot 3-bedroom house. But it is crammed with so much stuff that I sometimes feel like my RV has more living space. She also has a shed and a 2-car garage, both filled with… stuff.
So it came as a great relief that, after 2 years of talking about it, she had a garage sale. It wasn’t a huge financial success – she netted just $125 – but she also took the opportunity to donate a lot of unsold items. And we reorganized the garage to create more open space. Those were the big wins from the day.
It was a lot of work, moving 4 racks of clothes, 3 tables and about a dozen totes out of the garage and into the driveway. And then moving them back in again at the end of the day. But she managed to eliminate the need for two of the tables and two totes, which, along with my superior organizational skills, yielded valuable free space in the garage.
She may do it again in a couple of weeks. I am all in favor of that!
We had back-to-back hurricanes this month here in Fort Myers. They both packed a lot of punch and did major damage in other places. Yes, there was some damage locally but for the most part they missed me. The second – Milton – came closest to a direct hit but landed about 50 miles north. Still close enough for some storm surge damage, but far enough to miss me with hurricane-force winds. I rode it out at Marlene’s house in Lehigh Acres. She lost power for over 3 days, but had a generator to keep the refrigerator and freezer running. My RV was just fine. No damage whatsoever.
Marlene and I have done a lot of traveling together in the two years since we met – a transatlantic cruise, a transpacific cruise, several Caribbean cruises and road trips to GA and New England. We just booked another Caribbean cruise for January 2025, for my birthday, and have a 25-night cruise through the Panama Canal booked for April 2025. What can we do to top that?
How about a trip around the world?
It is looking increasingly likely that we will actually travel around the world over a period of about 10 weeks from September 15 to November 22, 2025. And before you start thinking “they must be rich” let me tell you that it is being done quite economically.
There will be three distinct segments to the trip, which I will designate ATW (for “around the world”):
This will be epic. We have already booked the cruises and I have plans for the rail and air travel, which I have not yet booked. Nor have I booked any hotels. But I have checked out the prices for hotels in all of the cities we will visit and it is all affordable. Meals? We know how to eat cheaply. The trip to Rome was a “bucket list” item for both Marlene and me and I wanted to get to Venice ever since it was denied to me when Jett fell ill on the TC1. By linking the two cruises together we will be able to knock all of those items off of our bucket lists while saving money – the flight from Sydney to London is less than the flight from Sydney to FL and the rail cost is less than the cost of a flight from FL to Rome. Yes, there will be significant hotel expense – about 30 days – but I think we can average under $80 per night (total cost about $2,500 for both of us). I think the total cost for 10 weeks of travel will be about $8,000 or about $800 per week for both of us. And we save on many of the expenses we have at home in FL – gas, entertainment, etc. It is very feasible.
These plans will change. The trip is a year away. But I think it will happen.
The 10th trip south was longer than the 10th trip north (TN_10), both in miles and time. It knocked some items off my bucket list. And Marlene and I arrived home still liking each other. I call that a success.
By the numbers:
Highlights:
Lowlights:
Planned and actual routes:
The plan and actual only resemble each other in that they both were routed through Louisville with a stop at Hershey PA. Everything else changed. Most notably, we started via VT and NY. We also made the last stop Tallahassee rather than Destin FL.
415 miles via I-10, US 19, US 98, FL 60, US 27, FL 29 and FL 82. Cumulative route miles: 2,482. Auto miles on this hop: 415. Cumulative auto miles: 2,519. This was a LONG trip – over 8 hours on the road – mostly because I chose to avoid I-75. And because Marlene wanted one last casino. We stopped for fuel on US 98 north of Crystal Springs.
I like US 19/US 98. It is flat, smooth and has little traffic. But it does go through a lot of small towns. We also went through Lakeland which is not a small town and has a lot of traffic.
I lost my usual $100 at the casino; Marlene broke even. We made it home around 10pm.
Our home for the night was the La Quinta in Tallahassee. Not a great choice. Inexpensive but after the Drury was a real downer. The bed, TV, shower and fridge were fine, so it wasn’t bad for an overnight. But the free breakfast was terrible, including sour waffles. Never had sour waffles before. They were inedible. Not recommended.
I will provide a TS_10 wrapup soon.
486 miles via I-40, I-440 (around Nashville), I-65 and US 27. Cumulative route miles: 2,067. Auto miles: 615. Cumulative auto miles: 2,196. We had one snack/bio stop at a Wendy’s in Mongomery AL.
The weather was very good, fortunately, because this was a LONG day of driving. About 8 hours behind the wheel. But the navigation was simple, the roads were good and there were very few delays.
Our home in Nashville was the Drury Inn near the airport. The choice of this hotel was a bit accidental. When I first looked for an inexpensive hotel in Nashville I found several hotels of acceptable quality for under $100 per night. But when I booked just before we started this hop I could find nothing under $100. I took the Drury because it wasn’t outrageously expensive (about $270 total or $135 per night) and I recalled staying at a Drury in St Louis many years ago and remembered it as a fine hotel.
When we arrived the hotel could not find my reservation. But they did find a reservation for me in NOVEMBER. I have no idea how I booked for November instead of September, but it took me about half an hour to get it straightened out. I think this error was the reason that I couldn’t find an inexpensive hotel. But I stayed with Drury. And am very glad I did.
This hotel was AWESOME. Not only was the room more than adequate, but it had a wonderful free breakfast and an indoor/outdoor pool that we actually used. But the big surprise was the free dinner with drinks. The dinner was just tacos, but very good tacos. And both Marlene and I were given tickets for 3 free drinks. We got buzzed on two margaritas each. We didn’t even use the third ticket.
This hotel was a bargain at $130 per night (which is what I paid).
We took a driving tour of Nashville in the morning – the Grand Ole Opry (which we didn’t go in, just walked around the grounds), Opry Mills and downtown Nashville. We then went back to downtown after 9pm to see the music scene. Both trips were fun.
212 miles via I-264, US 31W, KY 841, I-65, I-24 and I-40. Cumulative route miles: 1,581. Auto miles on this hop: 22. Cumulative auto miles: 1,656. There were no extra auto miles. However, the route was rather tortuous: first to Churchill Downs where we tried (and failed) to get a souvenir, then to a gas station to fill up (cheaply, at $2.74) and to search for souvenirs in nearby shops (we failed but did find some CDs to play), then to Marlene’s cousin’s house to catch up on old time (they hadn’t seen each other in over 30 years), then to a Pilot to try again for a souvenir (success!), then, finally, on the road to Nashville.
We spent 3.5 hours with Marlene’s cousin Jeanette and her family. It was a pleasure. Nice people, including the grandchildren. I don’t say that often.
We were guests of my cousin for the two nights we spent in Louisville, so it was a cousin-oriented couple of days. They were very gracious hosts, providing us with a comfortable bed and two very fine breakfasts (my cousin Keith is a fine cook). He also treated us to a tour of some of the highlights of Louisville – the University of Louisville, the parks, Churchill Downs and the graves of Colonel Sanders and Muhammed Ali. He also treated us to a sunset dinner at Captain’s Quarters Riverside Grille on the banks of the Ohio River. It was a lovely evening and there was live music. We danced.
An unexpected highlight of the stay was frequent visits from Phil, their resident groundhog. Neither Marlene nor I had ever seen a groundhog in the wild. He was very amusing. And had an insatiable appetite for carrots.
Two very enjoyable nights in Louisville. Thank you, Keith and Debbie!
